Stiles, Senior Support Worker
Stiles has gone from strength to strength since embracing his trans gender identity
Growing up I certainly didn't have a typical trans story. I wore typically ‘girly’ clothes, played with babies and played dress up, but I also played with lightsabers. I was unapologetically me.
I was a child – I wasn’t thinking about gender at all as I was more concerned with playing with my friends and what cartoons were on that day. I was lucky that my mum was perfectly happy with me choosing what I wore and how I expressed myself.
As I got older my gender dysphoria grew – that’s to say a sense of dissatisfaction with the mismatch between my biological sex and gender identity. It’s difficult to describe the unease dysphoria puts on you.
It’s like not feeling at home and never being comfortable. Most people take for granted that their body is their home – it’s what we eat in, sleep in, and it’s how we interact with the world. When people interact with you incorrectly, it affects every single aspect of your life.
Becoming my true self
I always knew I would have preferred to have been born a boy, but would I do anything about it? That transition mountain seemed so high, so full of prejudice and pain, and like a mountain I was unequipped to climb.
It took me going to university and being in a new environment, away from all the previous pressures in my life and speaking to new people, before I realised that this wasn’t a shared experience in other people’s identity. It was then I knew that this impossible mountain ahead of me I either had to climb or I would lose my life before even trying. Being unapologetically me, I felt like apologising to myself.
Looking back, it’s only now I realise the magnitude of the pain I was in. For me now, it’s not just the absence of dysphoria, but the peace and quiet inside my mind and body, the quality of my mental health, and my ability to focus on living my life instead of just surviving each day.
Complete and unwavering support at NCHA
When I started searching for jobs, inclusivity and diversity was a large factor in my decision. NCHA has such a clear representation of this, and it was obvious how much they appreciate their colleagues.
I started with NCHA as a Support Worker when I was 20, just over a year into my transition. I was incredibly anxious joining the working world, especially with my existence being a continued topic of debate.
Thankfully, I’ve been met with complete and unwavering support from all my managers during my time at NCHA. I’ve also been given multiple opportunities to speak about my lived experience to colleagues through ‘Lunch and Learn’ events.
NCHA has provided me with continued opportunities to aid my professional and personal development. I’ve since moved to a different Care and Support project and am now a Senior Support Worker, currently working towards a ‘Level 3 Lead Adult Care Apprenticeship’ and a ‘PBS Practice Leadership’ qualification.
We get one shot at life – live it authentically and be true to yourself. Life is too short to make yourself unhappy trying to conform.
