Supporting children affected by abuse

Children can often be the forgotten victims in domestic abuse, but the reality is that those affected can be left with very real trauma.

At Umuada, a domestic abuse refuge in Nottinghamshire, they ensure that each and every child in their care receives the support they need to heal. 

Jill has been working at Umuada for almost a decade as their dedicated Children’s Worker. She describes what the role means to her and the young people she supports: 

“It’s my job to look after the wellbeing of children and young people who’ve been affected by abuse. Most children arrive at refuge feeling lost and afraid, often dealing with their own trauma. Some can be angry with mum for making them move or taking them away from a dad they may still love. 

“I normally have about 15 kids in my care; from babies, all the way up to young people approaching adulthood. We’re very lucky at Umuada, we have a playroom, playground and allotment area and we use these spaces to create new, happy memories. 

“I run play sessions three times a week. Messy play helps the children to work through their feelings; I’ve even seen children roleplay things they’ve witnessed; it helps them make sense of their memories. And spending time with other children who’ve experienced similar trauma is a therapy all in itself." 

Support for the whole family

“It’s not just about the children, I also work with our mums. They’re often in a vulnerable state when they first arrive. They may be acting as a single parent for the first time, have lost their confidence and are struggling to make decisions. I support them to find a new independence. 

“I also help the mums understand the trauma their children have gone through. Often parents think they have protected their children from abuse, but children see and hear a lot more than we think they do. It can be heartbreaking for a parent to realise that their child has been impacted, and I have to support them through feelings of grief and guilt. 

“It’s a privilege to watch the children transform before my eyes. I learn from them as much as they learn from me and the knowledge I gain helps support the next young person that comes through those doors. I can’t imagine doing anything else.”

Supporting better lives 

Find out more about the work of Umuada on our web pages.

Anyone who is concerned they, or someone they know, may be experiencing abuse can contact Umuada directly on: 0115 666 6749 or email: umuada@ncha.org.uk 

If someone is in immediate danger, please always call the police on 999.